Welcome!
You’ve come to the right place if I you’re seeking to transform self-defeating and energy-draining patterns that keep you from thriving at work, in your health, or in your relationships.
If you’re ready for the journey of getting to know, befriend, and update outdated survival patterns that are mostly outside your consciousness, then partnering with me on this path will facilitate the emergence of your true authentic Self. Leading from Self so that YOU are the one who lives your life instead of perfectionist, people pleasing, procrastinating, hyper-vigilant, controlling or harshly judgmental protective parts.
Self-leadership results in thriving instead of just surviving – regaining the joy and balance in your life that allows you to be the partner, parent, colleague, friend, leader that you were meant to be.
Get in touch if you’re looking to:
- Increase your mental fitness and resilience;
- Restore or maximise your health and wellbeing;
- Resolve self-defeating patterns and behaviours;
- Overcome chronic pain or other chronic health conditions;
As an ex-corporate executive leader (in HRM & training and development), Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner and Professional Leadership Coach, I have the perspective, compassion, and skills to support you on your journey to mental and physical resilience and thriving.
Together we co-create the IFS coaching plan that best suits your needs. Don’t wait until burnout, let’s start working together today!
Sessions are up to 75 minutes, online (via Zoom or Google Meet), in English or Dutch.
Individual IFS coaching
Note: As an IFS practitioner (level 2) and accredited coach I do not diagnose or treat mental health or other health conditions and am not the expert in our relationship. Instead, I facilitate my client’s internal exploration and the journey “home” to their true Self.
Sessions:
- 75-minute online sessions (in Dutch or English)
- Each session is tailored to your needs
- A minimum of two sessions per month unless otherwise agreed
- Cancellation of coaching agreement possible at any time
- You book your appointments directly in my calendar (upcoming) and can move them as needed (48h cancellation policy applies)
- Resources, guides and tools where relevant
Fee & Pay: the fee is €150 per 75-minute session, excluding 21% BTW (Dutch revenue tax). You pay after each session via a payment request. I send monthly invoices.
Tell Me Your Story
The process
We start our journey with what you would like the outcome to be and how you want to show up differently for yourself and others. In short, what living from a place of Self-leadership would ideally look like for you. Then we identify and explore together any thought processes, core beliefs, or self-defeating patterns that have been holding you back or may even be making you ill.
In the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, self-defeating protective patterns are called Protectors. We all have them and we tend to have a strong urge to fight them or “get rid” of them. But trying to fight or “tackle” these self-defeating patterns does not work. On the contrary, it tends to make them stronger. Shaming and fighting parts of our own psyche is the opposite of self-compassion and comes from our inner critic. That critical part of us aims to help us, but instead it only intensifies inner conflict and can result in feelings of shame and hopelessness and sensations of overwhelm and internal chaos.
According to the IFS model all these self-defeating patterns behave very much like separate subpersonalities that have conversations and conflicts with each other and with our core “observer” Self, and make us behave in certain ways. The Inner Critic voice is often the strongest and uses language that we’d never use with others. It criticizes us in unhelpful, exaggerated ways, telling us we’re useless, look terrible, are not smart enough to get a promotion, will never lose weight, should be a better parent or partner, etc, etc.
Other examples are the Hyper-Achiever, Hyper-Rational, Pleaser, Controller, Restless, Avoider and Perfectionist. We all have these voices in some form or other and they often fight each other or work as a team. The Inner Critic generally does not like the Pleaser pattern. The Pleaser may team up with the Perfectionist pattern. The Perfectionist criticises our Restless part, and on and on.
The various sub-personalities can cause imposter syndrome, chronic stress, and feelings of hopelessness and constant self-doubt. These engrained feelings often result in physical symptoms such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome, migraines, chronic back pain, or worse. And to stop the painful feelings and emotions we naturally turn to things that make us feel better short-term but are unhelpful in the long term, such as alcohol, junk food, TV binge watching, social media, drugs, shopping, painkillers, etc.
IFS therapy is an evidence-based model that was created by Richard Schwartz PhD in the 1980s and further developed and refined over the last 40 years to effectively heal attachment wounds and trauma, including PTSD. It however has turned out to also be very effective for people without major trauma and is a robust and very subtle model of internal exploration that can be practiced alone, or with the support of an IFS Practitioner.
Relating to our inner world through the IFS lens results in the softening and transforming of our self-defeating patterns. IFS facilitation allows us to first understand, appreciate, and form a warm relationship with our own inner system of sub-personalities (inner family) and then heal – from a place of authentic, compassionate Self – any underlying exiled or outcast parts of ourselves. This in turn allows the adaptive patterns or sub-personalities to transform to their original helpful and supportive roles as our capacities and strengths. As a (Level 2 trained) IFS Practitioner and Personal Leadership Coach, I apply the IFS model and other frameworks to our sessions to the extent that you choose.
The path to transformation and unfolding takes commitment and when I have the honor of walking this path with clients big shifts can take place, often in a relatively short time. Clients find that they are finally free to be the person they truly want to be and were meant to be – thriving instead of surviving – and leading their life from a place of calm, connected and confident Self-leadership.
Mijn bedrijf heet VAJARA en draagt het logo van een 💎 diamant. Deze bedrijfsnaam en logo hebben meerdere betekenissen.
Persoonlijk, omdat het woord VAJARA bestaat uit een combinatie van de eerste letter van de namen van mijn 3 kinderen én mijn eigen 3 voorletters.
Symbolisch, omdat een Vajra de eigenschappen verbeeld van een diamant (onverwoestbaarheid) en een bliksemschicht (onweerstaanbare kracht).
Spiritueel, omdat Vajra een krachtig Tibetaans energetisch instrument is voor het ontvangen en sturen van positieve energieën.
Je kan mij volgen op social media:
VAJARA Training & Coaching
KvK-nummer: 71256148
BTW-nummer: NL001897560B47